So here I am, 25 years old. I'm bigger than I ever thought I'd be. In December of 2010, I had the lap band procedure done. It's now been 9 months and I've lost 42 pounds. Some would say that that is phenomenal. To me, it's not good enough. My goal was to be down 80 pounds by now, but I'm not. I was an embarrassing 237 pounds before my surgery. Before I got pregnant when I was 18, I was a mere 150. I was comfortable with that. I put on only 35 pounds with my pregnancy but I ballooned after my son was born.
I'm finally under the 200 pound marker. I've safely made it down to 195. But I want more progress. I'm not disciplined enough to go work out and run around the neighborhood. But I'm too poor to buy a gym membership. Plus with my incosistant work schedule, and taking care of these 2 boys and making sure my boyfriend and kids get fed and have clean laundry, I feel like I'm left with no time in the day to do anything. Especially now that it's constantly 100 degrees or higher outside. I hate just driving to work.
I need some motivation. I have read some incredible blogs on this website with people struggling just like me, if not more, with their weight. But they're making progress and I love it. I want to be that person. I want to make progress and notice it.
I have every intention of eating better and working out. But the motivation to get off my butt is just not there. I think if I had a work out buddy, I might actually be more motivated. But my only fat friend, isn't fat anymore. She had the gastric sleeve done 2 years ago and has lost over 100 pounds and looks great, plus she has moved off to college so we can't exactly go to the gym together anymore.
I just feel so hopeless. But I refuse to be fat all my life.
I am determined. I think this week I will try to do some cardio. 30 minutes a day, 3 days a week, right? I even have a P90X I bought for my boyfriend that we have yet to use. I have got to do something. There's no if's and's or but's about it.
